After yesterday’s introduction to Tawnypelt, I’ve been doing some research.
Apparently these Warrior Cats all have impressive names.
Tawnypelt Firestar Tigerstar
Nobody is called “Willow who lives near Susan and occasionally screams because
um shut the wrong door”
So obviously I needed a proper warrior name.
After careful consideration, I have chosen
Mouseshredder!
Mum said, “That doesn’t sound like a Warrior Cats name”
Mother, I spent five years working on a farm.
I didn’t earn a name like Fluffypuddle.
Look at me in this photo. Tawnypelt is sitting behind me like my tiny apprentice while I stare into the distance contemplating battle.
Or chicken
Probably chicken
I’ve decided we’re starting our own Clan.
BarnClan 😼
Naturally, I’m leader
Mouseshredder, First of Her Name, Destroyer of Rodents, Supervisor of the MOT Garage and Frequent Visitor to Susan’s garden
Tawnypelt can be deputy.
Felix applied.
His application was denied
He asked what qualifications were required, so I reminded him that last week he got his head stuck in a trainer.
Warriors need stealth.
Felix enters a room like somebody has thrown a wardrobe downstairs.
The Queen Teen asked what BarnClan actually does.
Excuse me?
We patrol territory, defend borders and protect the community from dangerous enemies.
“Mice?”
Yes
“Ghost?”
Obviously
“Pigeons?”
When Dad isn’t interfering with operations.
“And Felix?”
Felix isn’t an enemy.
He’s more of an ongoing administrative problem.
Mum then asked whether Susan could join BarnClan.
Absolutely Susan is our medicine cat.
Admittedly her current medical knowledge consists mainly of “have some chicken, old girl,” but frankly I’ve had worse healthcare.
Dad wanted a warrior name too.
No!
You cannot play Dungeons & Dragons every week and then muscle in on my fantasy franchise, stay in your lane, Gandalf!
So it’s official I am no longer simply Willow.
From this day forward, you may address me as Mouseshredder, Leader of BarnClan.
Although Susan may continue calling me “old girl”
She has chicken based diplomatic immunity.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my deputy and I have important Clan business.
Tawnypelt is keeping watch.
I’m keeping watch.
And somewhere in this house Felix is probably licking a carrier bag.
BarnClan is in safe paws 😼
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